It’s not goodbye.

I had a goal three and a half years ago. I wanted to reach an audience beyond my family and friends. I had aspirations of Autism being accepted on a global scale. That strangers would welcome Sawyer with open arms. To a very large degree, I felt progress.

With a goal comes numbers. I thought that 50k views of my material was attainable. I thought that 50k clicks would take me to a level beyond the population of New Hampshire. Those in the social media world made me believe.

They asked questions about the life of being an Autism dad. They wanted to know the challenges. They wanted to know the success. They wanted to know more about Sawyer.

I shared. I wrote. I felt like I was opening a door to our lives that went beyond just family and friends. And I felt good about it.

I took pride in sharing my fears. I got excited to announce milestones. I loved the idea that one day Sawyer could look back and read about his childhood from my perspective.

So I continued. I wrote from the heart. I wrote raw. I cared less about the grammar. I cared only about what I felt. I’d hear critiques. I’d hear compliments. I’d welcome anything.

I’d spend hours looking at drafts. I’d delete, I’d repeat, and I just kept coming back. It didn’t matter if it was Sawyer walking in an endless loop. It didn’t matter if it was Sawyer learning to read. It didn’t matter if it was Sawyer needing a weighted blanket because he sought pressure to confront him. I felt everything had value.

So I wrote some more. I’d hashtag every applicable word or phrase. I’d reach out to organizations. I’d reach out to families. I’d encourage them to read about my son.

Becoming a big brother 1 time!
Make that a big brother 2 times!

As I wrote. I checked my numbers. I watched them slow down. Some continued to read. Some continued not to. Friends said less. Family did too. It’s the nature of telling your story, it’s not always going to be exciting. It’s not always going to be fun to read. And like anything it tends to have a shelf life.

Sawyer wanted a YouTube channel. The kids wanted a Vlog. I even thought about a parent Podcast about Special Needs families. Not to mention the children’s book I’m writing about Sawyer. I do need an illustrator if anyone has interest or ideas…

So with nearly 30k views and clicks, I’m retiring this vehicle. It’s time to move onto my next adventure. I will continue to share stories of Sawyer. It just will be in different ways.

For those who have ever given my material a read, I thank you. I hope you continue to accept Autism and anyone with special needs. I hope that learning about Sawyer was a moment in time that you can treasure.

The wild thing is that I decided today that this would be it. I had no conversations with anyone other than my wife. So some may be surprised!

I do know this. I have gained things, I have lost things, and I have questioned many things. However, I have never found more pride than sharing about Sawyer. I adore all that he is.

Guess who is 9!??

So until next time. Wherever that may be:)

Your friend,

Jon Rubin

Autismdadinthe603