There was no settling in. Sawyer had words but they weren’t entirely his own. There was little content as an output, which for a three year old was concerning.
My mind would wander as I was scared that his language would never truly develop into a finite conversation. Such as, how long would it be cute using the dialogue from Frozen to communicate the answer to a question?
It was almost like Sawyer was a young Jedi that had all this knowledge inside his head and was frustrated that we didn’t understand him. This was our life.
The fear of what ifs and questions about his future were overwhelming. We had a child that would need an IEP (Individual Education Plan) soon and we were getting advice from everywhere.
A part of me didn’t want to look back and regret his childhood due to my own insecurities and frustration. He was still a child and even with what I couldn’t answer, I did know what he loved to do.
So that’s what we would do. We would get in my White Jeep. We would take the roof off as Sawyer loved the wind blowing his brownish hair around like mad. He would giggle as we able to speed up on a hill as he screamed out, “Libibty Hill!!!” That is Liberty Hill for the residents of Bedford, New Hampshire.
We would go to the park. We would spend hours on the swing. We would walk in rain puddles as I held him. We would go out for ice cream. We would marvel on how he would know where we were going based on our turns.
This was to me, the beginning of both appreciation and acceptance. If there was a road, we’d take that one together.