IEP, ASD, and VB MAPP became new family members to us. It was like Sawyer had a Radio Flyer Wagon worth of baggage without any say in the matter. Overwhelming for us as a family and as we thought we had some solid footing, our feet were in a puddle of uncharted waters.
I was so absolutely devastated about Sawyer’s VB MAPP results. He had so much ground to cover in so many areas, I just struggled to look at it. In many ways, this assessment was more difficult to digest than the diagnosis of Autism. This was more real. He may have been age 4 but a 2 year old was inside him.
Everything I heard from those around the table reading that report mirrored a Charlie Brown teacher spat of rhetoric. I tried my best to hear it and listen but I was in fact out of it. All I could think about was his future and if he had one.
I told Kellie that I was sure he would close his gaps. However, I was trying to convince myself that he could in hope it would help her. Truth be told, I had doubts and I was scared to even think about what could be in Sawyer’s future.
I have said this before. Autism isn’t a step by step process that each case is the same. It’s a fluid process that has many peaks and valleys. Accepting this was a huge challenge for me and it took a long time to understand the road we were on.
It was a road of survival as the acronyms were piling up and overloading my existence.
Ben is in 3rd grade now so I’ve been through quite a few IEP meetings. I think the worst part is when they compare where he is vs where a “normal” student would be. Ben is still learning to use words to express himself. I have no idea what “age” his word usage is at and I don’t care. He does better all the time and that’s the only thing that matters to me. Don’t get discouraged. Your son will make progress at his own pace. Sometimes Ben seems stuck then he makes incredible leaps forward. Hang in there. š¹
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