autismdadinthe603

IEP, ASD,  and VB MAPP became new family members to us.  It was like Sawyer had a Radio Flyer Wagon worth of baggage without any say in the matter.  Overwhelming for us as a family and as we thought we had some solid footing, our feet were in a puddle of uncharted waters.

I was so absolutely devastated about Sawyer’s VB MAPP results. He had so much ground to cover in so many areas, I just struggled to look at it.  In many ways, this assessment was more difficult to digest than the diagnosis of Autism.  This was more real.  He may have been age 4 but a 2 year old was inside him.  

Everything I heard from those around the table reading that report mirrored a Charlie Brown teacher spat of rhetoric.  I tried my best to hear it and listen but I was in fact out of it.  All I could think about was his future and if he had one.

  I told Kellie that I was sure he would close his gaps.  However, I was trying to convince myself that he could in hope it would help her.  Truth be told, I had doubts and I was scared to even think about what could be in Sawyer’s future.

I have said this before.  Autism isn’t a step by step process that each case is the same.  It’s a fluid process that has many peaks and valleys.  Accepting this was a huge challenge for me and it took a long time to understand the road we were on.  

It was a road of survival as the acronyms were piling up and overloading my existence.