autismdadinthe603

Everywhere I go there is a clock. From my Fitbit, to my phone, to my Apple Watch, to my car, to even the gym that has them scattered in every nook. Some of these clocks are in sync and others are just a little off. In theory, a few seconds or minutes doesn’t really alter my day but I’m aware of it. For Sawyer, it’s just one clock and it only matters to what time he wants it to be.

Time matters to every family in the morning. Especially when you’re aware of what needs to happen to ensure everyone gets to where they need to be.

Sawyer’s schedule is his own. He comes upstairs, has breakfast, watches a show, gets dressed, brushes his teeth, and waits by the front door to watch for his bus. It seems simple as my description of it is so bland. Bland as I can sum up his routine in a narrative without punctuation. However, I can leave out the reminders, the redirection, the meltdowns, and perseveration over simplistic things.

For the record, the aforementioned isn’t just Autism. All of my kids have some sort of mayhem before heading out the door.

Nevertheless, we are in the now as two years ago we weren’t. Independence was a pipe dream. Trust me, Sawyer wasn’t going to his room, picking out his clothes and making a bagel with cream cheese back then. He also wasn’t getting a Keurig hot chocolate capsule out of the pantry, loading it up, waiting it for the be complete, putting ice cubes in it, and drinking it at the kitchen table. This wasn’t anywhere near my radar.

It also wasn’t on my radar when he came home jumping up and down that he got a invitation to a classmates birthday party.

I had tears roll down my eyes. I only dreamed of that excitement for him because I never truly know how he is welcomed amongst his peers. I hear stories that sound wonderful but stories and proof are two different animals.

The thing is that this was a boy at age 2 who wasn’t walking. He was hardly speaking. His smile was the only milestone that I could only see or hold to.

It didn’t matter that we had two other children who could seemly reach the moon. Sawyer wasn’t and that’s all I could see. That was my clock and I prayed that it could stop so he could catch up.

So today, we celebrate another milestone. We celebrate an invitation of a birthday party to attend. We celebrate that a clock may tell time but each one is different if you allow yourself to see it.