When our youngest child was born, every adventure out was a first. It seemed like there was so much thought into each purchase. It didn’t matter if it was bottles, clothes, or even shampoo as we navigated through the world of parenthood.
I don’t think we over analyzed things but we just didn’t know due to the lack of experience. I mean, when I was a baby, I’m fairly certain I bathed myself since I don’t have any pictures of my mom or dad washing me in a sink or tub. For all I know, I could have been hung outside on a clothesline to dry off.
Nevertheless, we did our best on the choices we made. So when we had our second child, we learned from our first, and when Sawyer arrived, we had years of parenting under our belts. It’s almost like we were graduate students compared to freshman.
We had 5 years to collect knowledge. 5 years of ideas to pass on to another child and though the number of years stretched to 8 once Autism was a reality, we still had our tool belt of ideas and practices that were in play.
All of this was like our shiny, well sculpted, rectangular tool box. It had years of fun things to dress up in and play with. Once it was opened, the imagination would run wild and playing would commence.
However, Sawyer didn’t open it. It stayed shut. It remained closed from ages 3 to 7. It may have cracked open at times but everything that the other two considered fun, didn’t exist in Sawyer’s world.
Sawyer’s ideas of playing was chasing, crawling, or shouting. His display of fun mirrored a Simon Says game. The lights would shine, it would follow a pattern, it would make a sound, and then it would turn off.
This was his form of play.
So we encouraged him.
We modeled for him.
We tried playing with him.
However, nothing truly stuck.
We have seen moments of interest. We have seen periods of time that he plays longer. We have seen him try like the other day when he played with a Beyblade. It was well worth the screaming when he let it rip off the line that makes it go and was trapped under the couch.
Though it is a struggle to explain that we could get it back, he needs to learn to try things that don’t come easy for him.
Let’s face it. Playing is foreign to him. He has to learn how to do it. That’s who he is.
As we celebrate all of Sawyer’s successes, we don’t ignore his challenges. As of today, he continues to play in the shadows. We hope to guide him into the light.