autismdadinthe603

When Sawyer was born, the world had begun a slight shift. I didn’t have to make a call to let loved ones know, I could send a picture via a text, email a group, and post a picture 20 mins after his arrival. Looking back, I had zero wherewithal of enjoying the moment but rather showing the moment. That was 2011. A different me but part of my story.

So as my pictures painted the newborn Rubin, the likes came in waves. However, that was the only thing that seemed easy. Just that push of a button or a double tap.

The behind the scenes life at home was far from a smile. It was hard. Real hard. It was like what is going on with our son and us type hard? The thing was that relationships are difficult as it is. When you have a child that you can’t seem to help like the others; you can grow together or grow apart.

So as we went through the ages of 1,2,3 and so on, we weren’t a united front. We struggled. There were the days when he couldn’t walk, talk, or connect with us. Imagine opening up a pantry door with your 4 year old and them crying for 10 minutes because you can’t understand what they want for a snack? That was me. If he was shutting down, I was doing the same.

The darkness and days of losing hope turned during ages 5,6, and 7. The communication started to build again. The working together was more frequent. I understood that going to the park and swinging on a swing each day was what Sawyer loved to do that I’d find joy in him doing it.

I began to listen. I began to enjoy. I began to be a better father and in many ways a better husband.

As we morphed into ages 8,9, and 10. Our understanding of Sawyer grew together. The conversations were daily and working together was our expectation and it became fulfilling. Taking Sawyer to a Celtics game, to dance, helping with homework, attending meetings together was a partnership in discussion and execution.

As we wish Sawyer a happy birthday tomorrow, it’s bigger than turning 11. It’s a celebration of my wife and Kellie evolving over 11 years too. Though it’s easy to celebrate the child, it’s equally important to celebrate us too.

Happy birthday to us 🙂