Category: Uncategorized
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Time never stops
The first few weeks of the world of Autism seemed like months. The days seemed longer like it was my personal daylight savings time clock. Regardless of the day, I found myself in quicksand without any lifeline to reach out to. In the back of my mind, I couldn’t stop to think about how my […]
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Stuck in neutral
Coming off the emotional high of celebrating our anniversary was just what I felt that our family needed. We had a day of laughter, reminiscing of our day of union, stories of those who had passed, and the thoughtfulness of many who we had heard from throughout the day. It was a reminder that we […]
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Awoken
Within a matter of weeks, my desire to find something to carry me towards hope was dwindling. The things that I enjoyed faded regardless if it was working out in the morning hours or chatting with those close to me. The things I looked forward to seemed like chores. I just wanted the time to […]
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Cobe’s dad too
As I was stuck in neutral that first week, my perspective was all over the map. Yes, I had a son who was autistic. Yes, I didn’t know what to make of it. Yes, I had zero ability to articulate my thoughts and feelings at the time as I prepared to help my family understand […]
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Dreams of our fathers
When the downpour of duress struck me that spring, I found myself searching for anything to hold onto that could carry me through my day. I attempted less time on my phone or computer because it led me to window upon window of Autism. Quite frankly, I wasn’t ready to read anything or even […]
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The others
Life was systematic once my workday kicked in. I could always be present at work. It was my church as the outside world didn’t exist. The activity of the lives of the students kept me going as my goals, hopes, and dreams for them didn’t waver. If I felt like a failure as a father, […]
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Going under
As I went back to work, I had about 20 minutes until the students walked in the door. I had zero problems separating work and home. Once the bell rang, I was Mr. Rubin. For those 20 minutes, I was just Jon. I thought about holding Sawyer for the first time. It was like playing […]
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The suitcase
In the book The Tiger Rising by Kate Dicamillo, the main character Rob uses a suitcase to hold in his emotions since the passing of his mother. It so happened that it would be a book that I would later use in my classroom of 4th graders in a quest to understand character analysis. […]
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My son is Autistic
As the days passed, the mood around our household took a shift. It would rise like that of a hot air balloon of relief and ashes upon ashes of soot. To say our emotions were in check would be false. There was no denying that we were over our heads. However, my wife Kellie […]
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The rear view mirror.
“The past is a great place to visit but never to stay.” This was the line my father fed to me as he put his hand on my shoulder as he left New Hampshire after 33 years. I took it in, tried to digest it and watched him get into his car. He went his […]
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